A snake charmer isn’t that hard to spot. No, the real problem is what you are willing to ignore because you are love starved or just plain lonely. The signs are evident and the modus operandi doesn’t change, but if you’re in doubt, here are five tell-tale signs you need to put the brakes on.
1. He Is in a Bad Spot
His car broke down and his ex kicked him out. He has no clothes, no job, and no where to sleep. He’s not interested in you but your couch and your Honda Accord. Stay away from a man who looks to a woman to “get him back on his feet.” Sob stories are a pathetic way for a man to hook you. A honorable man will wait to seek a mate when he is in a position of strength and can take care of you.
2. He Shares All of Your Interests
“You like hanging out in Starbucks on a Friday night while everyone else is clubbing?” “Me, too!” It’s not realistic that a man will share all of your same interests. Though it is necessary that you and Mr. Right share similar interests, be wary of a man who is into everything you are in are. He is just mirroring what you say to get closer to you and will say whatever he thinks will break through your veneer. A man who has his own interests is a man who isn’t going to rely on you to give him a life.
3. He Has No Relationships
A man who has no relationship with his family and no friends is trouble. We know family dynamics can be tough, but if there isn’t even a grandmother or a distant cousin who cares about him, he has burned some very large bridges. Men who have no family or friends that communicate with him have likely burned those closest to them one too many times. It might be drug use or just plain uselessness. See above: he wants access to your couch and your car.
4. He Is Too into You
It’s all about you pumpkin and he is so into you that you can’t breathe let alone gather your thoughts so you can figure out where this tsunami of attention is going. He says all of the right things and is overly loving, bombarding you with love notes, gifts, showing up at your workplace or home constantly, or texting you non-stop. Whoa, Nelly, he needs to put that horse back in the barn. There are several motives for this behavior. He could be jealous, possessive, needy, or overly competitive. He has the potential to stalk you and make you feel as if he can’t live without you. A grown dang man will show some restraint, be his own person, and will respect your boundaries. Leave quickly.
5. You Are Working Too Hard
He doesn’t want to hang out with you on Friday or Saturday night when you are free? He doesn’t like to show emotion, hold your hand, or doesn’t give you the affirmation you crave? You are compromising too much for something that just isn’t working for you, and it’s time to call it quits. If you are giving up one of your five love languages to make it work because he has four out of the five characteristics you are looking for, he is not for you. In the long-run, you will be starved for what you crave. He must be willing to give you what you need in the relationship. He might be just selfish or he might be damaged. Yes, I know you are damaged goods, too. Aren’t we all? But pick your poison. You don’t want to be trapped in a relationship that doesn’t fill your love tank.